Ms, Mutant and a night of bones

Its a Friday night and I'm at home watching Bones. I certainly didn't think I would be sitting at home watching TV on Friday nights at my age when I was a teenager. I guess I must have thought every night would be excitement filled and full of endless adventures. Now I get most of my excitement and adventures through television and movies. For the most part I'm OK with that. I mean hey at least it saves me money and the heartbreak and loneliness that comes from spending every night at the bar. I actually think that going out casually makes the outings more eventful and meaningful. Recently I have been trying to have more girl time and encouraging Tim to go hang out with his guy friends. I love Tim and love the time we share but I know that the companionship that we get from fellow friends and especially that of the same sex is very important for our mental health and even self esteem. Tonight Tim is out with our friend Troy having some drinks. Next Saturday I have arranged a girls night with some of my girlfriends and I have been looking forward to it for weeks. My childhood best friend Jamie is coming down from St. Cloud and I always enjoy getting time with her. Since age 16 I had less then a handfull of times with just getting together with her with no signicifant others involved. Ive been friends with Jamie since age 3 so it truly means the world to me getting to have this girls night. My best friends Leigh and Erin will be coming out as well. We havent set specifics other than knowing we will be consuming something of the alcholic nature. I think we will end up going shopping/browsing at the Mall of America while we wait for Erin to get off work and that will be a blast too. Within the last couple of years I have been attempting to brace my girly side for the first time in my life. I used to enjoy wearing mens tshirts and not trying hard to look very feminine. Now I can get enough of Lacy cami's I can put on under other layers, v and scoop neck tees, cute little sweaters, makeup and earings. I even had my first pedicure last month courtesy of Leigh! Im loving it. In fact now when every I put on a guys t shirt or hoodie I feel so confined and I hate it. I think some of the desire to be more girly came with having my mastectomy and recently my hysterectomy. As woman our feminitity is defined so much by how big are boobs are and how many babys we can push out. With making the concieous decision to lose those parts its hightned my ability to let my feminity show in other ways. It feels like a new chapter in my life and I love it.